Cheer up chuck
Once upon a time an enterprising sort of chap made up a formula in a bid to sell more holidays to sun-deprived Brits.
It is unlikely that ever in his wildest dreams he thought ‘Blue Monday’, a phrase previously best known as a depressing song by New Order, would become a concept so entrenched in the psyche even the chirpiest of optimistic spring birds became bedraggled.
His unscientific formula, based on grey skies, time since Christmas, credit card bills and other such January facts of life, worked perfectly.
On the third Monday in January we all started to yearn for sunnier climes, new lives, look for answers.
But then we we collectively looked out the window, saw the rain, realised it was still over a week till pay day after the longest month ever, we were all sick of our new year’s resolutions and too fat and poor to go on holiday anyway.
So we succumbed to the most ingenious of self-fulfilling prophecies and all got thoroughly unmotivated.
All because some scientist chap, more specifically Dr Cliff Arnall formerly of Cardiff University (yes, you!) told us to as part of a PR stunt to sell holidays on a TV channel that is now, ironically, defunct.
‘How does it feel? To treat me like you do?’ – Blue Monday, New Order.
This year was worse than ever.
It was an irresistible temptation for yesterday’s mainstream and social media to capitalise on the concept, with the hangover of an unkind 2016 still looming large – dead celebrities, Brexit, Trump, the end of Strictly Come Dancing for another year, the fashion for crop tops – the list went on.
Even Dr Arnall turned up again to make things worse by pointing it all out again without even selling a holiday.
So we all awoke yesterday with our usual start-of-week sense of inevitability exacerbated as we scrolled through our phones reading Blue Monday posts, before embarking on our usual Monday routines with an entirely unnecessary gloom.
This resulted in the implementation of own personal formulas to cheer ourselves up.
Mine was gin & tonic + salt n vinegar crisps +online sale shopping +pjs = even more depressed, poor and fat Nicola.
Do not try this at home
So today, Titian Tuesday (I made that up, well if Cliff can..) we need to get over ourselves and realise we have been played like a fiddle.
These first few weeks in January have pretty much everything going for them.
Time for a new start, however faltering.
After all we have the power to change a midset, just like Cliff.
We have an entire year of summers, holidays, highs and lows, friends and family to look forward to.
Nothing lasts forever and what is wrong now can hopefully be made right, or at least we can have fun trying.
Yes, Trump’s being inaugurated on Friday but luckily we live in Britain.
Yes, we lost some celebrities which is sad, but many are still gloriously alive.
Yes, payday is only a hop and skip away.
And was that the sun I spotted through the clouds?
Just remember blue is just a colour.
And we will all live happily after after.
FIVE REASONS TO CELEBRATE
- It is a whole year until Blue Monday
- Blue Monday was made up anyway
- Spring and summer are just round the corner
- 2016 is just a memory
- Who needs a reason?
FIVE WAYS TO CHEER YOURSELF UP
- Have a massive clearout. Marie Kondo is right – decluttering your home really works.
- Change your energy provider. You hate them anyway.
- Apply for new jobs or opportunities, indulge in the possible. You have to be in it to win it.
- Google the people who became massively successful after the age you are now. Works for me.
- Have a Facebook purge, unfriend those who make you feel bad about yours
- This appeared in the i newspaper and website