A menu with the choice of eight types of pillow on which to rest your weary head.
A view out of your window that offers unparelled private vistas across the glorious Thames.
A room that isn’t just a room, it’s a suite.
A clientele where celebrity is the norm and privacy is promised.
And a restaurant where childcare comes free of charge while you tuck into your champagne Sunday lunch.
This is not just any hotel, this is the Wyndham Grand Hotel at Chelsea harbour.
So it’s incredible really, that they let me in at all.
But they did.
And that’s because at the Wyndham London, discretion is everything – and whether you are a famous footballer, a pop star, or a scruffy looking Lancashire lass with a pen, you are treated like a King or Queen.
I arrived at one of the big smoke’s most prestigious addresses on a busy Saturday afternoon.
Hidden away off the fashionable King’s Road in the exclusive enclave of Chelsea Harbour, the hotel is not just luxurious – it’s unique.
Overlooking the stunning setting of the marina, it boasts the distinction of being the only five star hotel in London that is entirely made up of suites.
With 154 suites in total and six penthouses, the hotel offers all the facilities you would expect from a five star – including a small fitness centre, treatment rooms, a 17 metre swimming pool, an award winning restaurant, bar and terrace right on the water’s edge.
Things that even those lucky individuals used to living five star lifestyles might not expect are the incredible views, stretching right across the Thames to the London Eye. Views and environs so exclusive I might add, that taking photographs is not allowed in the entire marina development, due to fears of paparazzi stalking the celebrity clientele.
From the moment we stepped into the discreet entrance of the Wyndham, we could tell they are out to impress.
Shuffling nervously into our unused-to luxury surroundings, our bags were immediately taken from our hands as we entered the marble floored lobby and we were greeted with a welcoming smile at the reception desk before being escorted to our suite on the sixth floor.
We were soon grinning with delight after being introduced to our suite.
Comprising a sitting room, a bedroom with a king size bed, a marble-topped en-suite bathroom and guest toilet, the overwhelming feeling was immediately of peace and calm – a home from home.
But what dominated the room were the huge windows, with incredible south facing views across the sleepy Chelsea harbour to the turbulent Thames, set into the backdrop of a stunning cityscape to the east s far as the London Eye.
Even better, we had a private terrace, perfect for whiling away the evening sipping champers and admiring the view.
And I certainly wasn’t expecting the a la carte pillow menu. Options range from king size feather, hypo-allergenic to the duck down Brompton and the Tempur classic space foam, based on NASA technology. Choices, choices!
But the thoughtfulness doesn’t end there – as well as 300 count Egyptian cotton linen on the beds, the Wyndham is one of a dying breed of five star hotels still offering tea and coffee facilities alongside the mini bar. And theres nothing like a brew to make you feel at home.
As we made our way the restaurant that evening it was clear we were not the only visitors from north of Watford when we bumped into the entire (and I must add impeccably behaved) Blackburn Rovers squad, resting overnight ahead of a Chelsea clash the next day. (They were not the only celebrity guests, we bumped into Boris Becker and his family at breakfast)
But, at the Wyndham, discretion is everything and we too were treated like the special guests.
We were soon settled into the waterside luxury of the Aquasia restaurant, bar and terrace where enjoyed a superb meal, accompanied by a fine red that soon had us nodding off into our coffee.
With a sleek impressive service and a surprisingly inexpensive and unpretentious menu, the Aquasia is unsurprisingly a world-class venue in its own right.
After a luxurious night sleep and an excellent breakfast ( despite being in competition with Blackburn’s finest for the croissants) we were ready for anything – as long as it was five star and came with it’s own butler.